Khalil Rafati
Benefitting Tashi Lhunpo Monastery
In his 20’s Khalil Rafati left his small town with a dream of moving to Los Angeles and becoming famous. But by the time he was 33 he found himself living on LA’s notorious skid row, 109 lbs., homeless, and fueling a daily heroin and cocaine addiction. Today, at 49, Khalil is now a wildly successful entrepreneur and the face of his wellness brand, Sunlife Organics. What is it like to beg for money? Why did he finally get sober after nine overdoses? The Khalil you will meet today has incredible wisdom and life lessons to share about addiction, the underbelly of recovery, hope and the power of kindness.
Wise Words
“I had some breakthroughs on MDMA and psilocybin that I’m guessing would have taken decades to have in therapy.”
“I saw my father as a young man stuck inside an old man’s body, that didn’t have the proper tools to navigate this world.”
“Ultimately (we) are little boys and girls stuck inside these adult bodies, and we’re all kind of damaged and banged up in our own way.”
“The purpose of this life is to really move through those dysfunctions and move past those traumas.”
“But the ultimate goal is to process everything that I’ve been through, accept everything that I’ve been through and then ultimately, at whatever juncture I am or whatever crossroads I’m at in my life, to recognize the fact that I, myself and myself alone, am 100% responsible for what’s going on in my life, both good and bad, period.”
“I started shooting up first then I became homeless. So there is a pecking order with that and there’s homeless like, I’m living at my girlfriend’s, and then there’s homeless like, I’m crashing on people’s sofas. Then there’s homeless like I’m staying (at) crack hotels, I’m sleeping in my car homeless. And then there’s homeless, real homeless, homeless where you’re not eating, and you’re not bathing and you’re not sleeping. Because you got to keep moving because if you stop moving you’re going to get hurt, you’re going to get mugged or you’re going to get raped or something bad is going to happen.”
“I’m real resilient. I’m sinewy like a cat. I’m strong like a fire hydrant. I inherited my Palestinian father’s strength and fortitude and my Polish mother’s strength and fortitude and it takes a lot to beat me down and to keep me beat down. And so I just adapted, I pivoted, and I adapted.”
“The further you get away from society, the more crazy you become.”
“Mixing them (cocaine and heroin) together is a really bad idea because you’re speeding your heart up and you’re slowing your heart down at the same time and it’s just a bad idea. Although, having said that, it’s the ultimate high, there is no high higher than shooting a speed ball meaning shooting heroin and cocaine together. And I towards the end, got into the habit of doing speed balls around the clock. I didn’t give a shit. I was seeking oblivion. I knew I was going to die anyway, I might as well get high as fuck, before that actually happened.”
“A heroin addict or a junkie or a drug addict, or whatever term you want to use, always wants to get clean, and they always want to be high. That’s the great conundrum. That’s the crazy paradox about it all.”
“It’s a horrific thing to go through but I am grateful that I didn’t have someone that was going to spend 80 grand to send me to some plush rehab overlooking the ocean where I would be completely comfortable as I went through my process, because guess what I would have done as soon as I had left? I’d go get high again. Why wouldn’t I? If there’s no consequences to me getting high? Why would I stop? Mom and Dad are going to throw me back in promises or throw me back in passages or whatever? Like, sorry, listen, I don’t want to bash those places because there are people that have gone through those places and done well. But there’s so much emphasis on making the addict comfortable, that I really think it’s enabling. I really do.”
“Despite all of my shortcomings and mistakes and character defects and just lack of experience, I have failed my way to absolute success.”
Links
Khalil’s company, SunLife Organics
Khalil’s book, I Forgot To Die
Instagram: @khalilrafati
Charity: Panchen Lama Tashi Lhunpo Project