Paula & Jonathan Williams
Benefitting Left Hand Church & Forefront Church
Paula Stone Williams knew from a young age that she was transgender, but as a leader in a conservative evangelical religious community, then Paul, avoided transitioning at all costs. Paul's son, Jonathan, followed in his father's footsteps and began a career in ministry, creating a new church under the same organization. Three months into his new job, Paul sat Jonathan down and told him that he was transitioning to a woman. The community backlash was instant, members exited en masse and funding disappeared. But through the reckoning, they forged a new relationship with their faith, each other, and birthed two inclusive churches publicly and intentionally welcoming the LGBTQIA community.
Wise Words
“I had known from the time I was three or four yers of age that I was transgender.”
“I wasn’t one of those people who hated being a male, I just knew I wasn’t one.”
“I would pray most nights that I would wake up the right gender the next morning.”
“We came out, we came out as a church as publicly affirming, and inclusive of the LGBTQ community. Which basically meant that we not only would affirm that community, and say they’re made in the image of God, but we would do same sex weddings, and we would hire and have staff members who identified as LGBTQIA. It was a big deal. We lost in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, and we lost about half of our congregation. I always say it was the best decision we ever made.”
“I actually like to draw a distinction between secret, and private. I think when we think of a secret, we tend to assign a moral value, and things that are a secret are things that are morally suspect. To me this was always just private. To me, it was never a moral issue.”
“I had to work through figuring out who I was. I used to say that, ‘I was Paul’s child, or Paul was my dad.’ That’s how I was known. To have your father attached to you in that sense, creates an identity not separate from him. Then when he came out, and I realized that I didn’t have that anymore, the question becomes who am I?”
“It’s letting go of somebody who’s no longer there when they’re standing right in front of you.”
“My life had pretty much always been what you might expect of a typical successful white, well-educated American male. Everything turned out well for me. It was quite an awakening out to have things not turn out well when I transitioned. I did bring all of those years of privilege with me, and that builds a certain reservoir. I think of strength that you have, you end up being far stronger than you realize, and I turned out to sure enough be a lot stronger than I realized because this is not a journey for the faint of heart. It is extremely difficult.”
“I think the biggest issue I face as a female is people just assuming that I really don’t know anything.”
“We need to be teaching our daughters not to be perfect, but to be persistent. We need to teach them the same thing we teach our sons, that you need to be good enough.”
“I think to live authentically is to trust your inner voice, and to trust that it is, in fact, attuned to that which is good and right, and redemptive, and whole.”
“We will not achieve gender equity by giving women more leadership opportunities. Men, we will achieve gender equity when you’re willing to give women your leadership opportunities.”
“The truth will set you free, but it’s going to make you miserable first. There’s a price that you will pay for speaking the truth because it means you’re dedicated to knowing what’s true and what’s true is not always pleasant.”
“We don’t get to that goodness unless we’re willing to go through the dark nights of the soul that come with it.”
Links
Jonathan’s book: She’s My Dad
Paula’s church: Left Hand Church
Jonathan’s church: Forefront Brooklyn
Find Paula at:
on Facebook at Paula Stone Williams
on Twitter @paulaswilliams
Find Jonathan at: jonathanswilliams.com