Dopey Dave
Benefitting Hip Give
Dopey Dave is a recovering drug addict who spent his 20's using heroin on a daily basis despite a successful career in entertainment. After hitting bottom and entering a treatment center, he met Chris, and his life would never be the same. Chris and Dave became fast friends and started a podcast together - The Dopey podcast - where they shared wildly funny and absurd drug stories from their past. The podcast grew quickly, keeping countless addicts around the world company. Except that two years in - unbeknownst to Dave - Chris started using again, overdosed and died. In the wake of Chris's death, a devastated Dave had to find a way forward through his grief and in doing so, expanded the message of Dopey (drugs actually kill people) and found his own voice as a solo podcaster. He has never missed an episode.
Wise Words
“More than anything it gave me an escape from my brain and I have a very overative, neurotic, worrying brain and the heroin made it possible to not care, which is all I ever wanted.”
“The only thing you learn is that there is no cure for this thing but my dad wanted a cure. My mom was just very disappointed and very upset and I wasn’t ready to stop using drugs. The only thing I didn’t want to do is stop using drugs. I just hated being physically dependent on heroin. I think I left that detox and got high the next day or even that night. Because I wasn’t ready and I wouldn’t be ready for a long time. It was the beginning of leaving a world of high-paying work, of respect, of love and entering a world of being a traditional drug addict, really.”
“Sobriety is a state of mind, a state of spiritual well being, and I never got there.”
“I found myself in my kitchen in Manhattan writing my ex at that time, a letter apologizing for everything I had done. But also, begging her to let me still smoke weed, that I really wanted to keep that in my life. And I just saw myself, after everything had happened, my mother had died, I had lost my career, I had lost my family, I had lost her and my daughter and I was alone. And the only thing I cared about was being able to get high. I was, and I don’t know, I had a moment where I was like, what am I doing? How can that be my priority?”
“And, it was as close to a spiritual awakening as I could get.”
“But the thing that we came away with was we were keeping addicts company in the way that Howard Stern had kept me company. The idea was they felt like they were amongst friends.”
“I think there’s an idea that going into sobriety you’re expected to make 180 degree turn and become some Saint who’s spiritually grounded and all this stuff, which is just insane because you’re the same person that was robbing the grocery store or lying to your friends while you stole from them.”
“I had used drugs almost 20 years. I never really considered that I could die.”
“I knew he was in pain. This is just one of those things where communication would have saved his life.”
“The real message of Dopey is that you can be in recovery and still be cool and still have fun. That life can be funny without using.”
“You don’t ever get over something, you just kind of get used to it, which is also how recovery worked for me.”
“I feel very connected to this period because it reminds me so much of the drug addition. It reminds me so much of early recovery where you don’t know when you’re going to have a job. You don’t know when you’re going to be part of society. You don’t know what’s going to happen next. I mean I know that every time I got sober or got off of drugs, I felt like this. That the world had stopped. Only it was so painful because back then, the world hadn’t stopped and only my world had stopped. I can’t help but think that this thing, this COVID period should be an opportunity for people because they can get their shit together while everything is totally falling apart and nobody would even notice that they were a mess.”
One thing you’ve said about the show, which I wanted to ask you, you said “Dopey will always have drug stories. It will always be about drugs, addition, and dumb shit. But my favorite dumb shit is what happens in recovery and living sober as a drug addict. It’s like a murderer working in a hospital.” What did you mean by this?...”It’s like a murderer...Oh, I guess the idea is...I think the idea was because I had done...I was a heroin addict for so many years and I was a chronic relapser and a drug addict. How could I be the person who’s the ambassador of recovery? That was the idea…”
“It kills you. It can kill you. It can take everything from you and you have nothing left and it’s very seductive while it does it.”
“I mean what I learned is that I could ruin my life and I learned that I could get it back.”
“I didn’t realize that no matter what I was doing, I don’t think I ever thought that I could ruin my life. And I learned that I could.”
“You can do anything good or bad, it just requires consistency and effort and care.”
What have you learned while homeschooling two children during a global pandemic? “That enjoy your family. As much as I love to complain about my family, they’re the best. They allow me to be the best version of myself, and I love them and I love homeschooling my 10 year old. I feel so much pride and joy sitting with her and learning with her. As much as I hate feeling like I can’t do what I want, I love it more than anything.”
Links
Website: dopeypodcast.com
Facebook: @dopeypodcast
Twitter: @dopeypodcast
Instagram: @dopeypodcast
Charity: Hip Give