Gary Mendell
Benefitting Shatterproof
As a father, Gary did what any parent would do to help his best friend and wonderful son Brian heal from a substance abuse disorder. He got referrals to treatment programs staffed with good people with good intentions. But what he came to understand after Brian tragically took his own life is that these programs were using unproven, outdated methodologies. Real solutions based on actual science were sitting untouched in medical journals. Today, Gary is on a mission to change the treatment system in the United States, educate the public that addiction is a very treatable disease when treated the right way, and erase the stigma and shame that keep so many from finding real hope and possibility in recovery.
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Wise Words
“I didn’t tell hardly anybody what we were dealing with because I was ashamed. I felt like a failure as a father and I didn’t feel like we deserved any help.”
“Teenagers are just dealing with all kinds of things at that age and you’re struggling with, you have this urge to use this drug, this craving, and you know it’s wrong and everyone is telling you what’s wrong and you’re looked at as the bad kid and so you’re hiding it and the more you hide it, the more nervous you get about it, the more cravings even get worse and you’re not receiving medical care and then you’re shipped off to a treatment program that is probably not following science-based protocols because our treatment system has mostly been outside of the healthcare system without any regulation or standard of care.”
“Well, where that translates to, where that now begins to translate is the person addicted feels that shame, and they start to believe it. They start to feel it and they start to internalize it and think I’m not worthy.”
“I was told that it wasn’t just addiction that took his life, that he had taken his own life. It was suicide and when I got his laptop back, the history on his laptop that he had woken up that morning and he had begun to research suicide notes. Then he wrote a note of his own, lit a candle and took his own life. The note that he wrote was so telling it was just a paragraph to each of us telling us how much he loved us. But also telling us how the treatment system everywhere he was treated, they were telling him something different and they weren’t really understanding him. That he just wanted to get back to normal and be viewed as normal and he didn’t see it happening. He didn’t want to, he just felt so bad about what he had put us through, he didn’t want any of us to suffer anymore.”
“I miss him all the time every day, but what hurts more is knowing that he didn’t have to die, that all this research existed, and how to prevent our youth from ever using drugs and ever becoming addicted.”
“Yet all of this information is sitting in peer-reviewed medical journals and hardly any of it is being implemented, so that destroys me.”
“We can change the treatment system in the United States. We can embed within our healthcare system, the protocols that science has proven to improve outcomes. We can educate our communities and our families about how to raise their families in a way that is most likely to prevent many of our loved ones from using drugs or alcohol and ever becoming addicted. But all of that is only half the way. The other half of the way is for our society to understand that this is not bad people doing bad things This is no different than someone developing a chronic illness and most important that this is a very treatable disease when it’s treated the right way.”
“We have to educate the public that it’s not just a chronic illness, but it’s also a treatable chronic illness and yes, if someone is being properly treated, you can live next door to them.”“I didn’t tell hardly anybody what we were dealing with because I was ashamed. I felt like a failure as a father and I didn’t feel like we deserved any help.”
“Teenagers are just dealing with all kinds of things at that age and you’re struggling with, you have this urge to use this drug, this craving, and you know it’s wrong and everyone is telling you what’s wrong and you’re looked at as the bad kid and so you’re hiding it and the more you hide it, the more nervous you get about it, the more cravings even get worse and you’re not receiving medical care and then you’re shipped off to a treatment program that is probably not following science-based protocols because our treatment system has mostly been outside of the healthcare system without any regulation or standard of care.”
“Well, where that translates to, where that now begins to translate is the person addicted feels that shame, and they start to believe it. They start to feel it and they start to internalize it and think I’m not worthy.”
“I was told that it wasn’t just addiction that took his life, that he had taken his own life. It was suicide and when I got his laptop back, the history on his laptop that he had woken up that morning and he had begun to research suicide notes. Then he wrote a note of his own, lit a candle and took his own life. The note that he wrote was so telling it was just a paragraph to each of us telling us how much he loved us. But also telling us how the treatment system everywhere he was treated, they were telling him something different and they weren’t really understanding him. That he just wanted to get back to normal and be viewed as normal and he didn’t see it happening. He didn’t want to, he just felt so bad about what he had put us through, he didn’t want any of us to suffer anymore.”
“I miss him all the time every day, but what hurts more is knowing that he didn’t have to die, that all this research existed, and how to prevent our youth from ever using drugs and ever becoming addicted.”
“Yet all of this information is sitting in peer-reviewed medical journals and hardly any of it is being implemented, so that destroys me.”
“We can change the treatment system in the United States. We can embed within our healthcare system, the protocols that science has proven to improve outcomes. We can educate our communities and our families about how to raise their families in a way that is most likely to prevent many of our loved ones from using drugs or alcohol and ever becoming addicted. But all of that is only half the way. The other half of the way is for our society to understand that this is not bad people doing bad things This is no different than someone developing a chronic illness and most important that this is a very treatable disease when it’s treated the right way.”
“We have to educate the public that it’s not just a chronic illness, but it’s also a treatable chronic illness and yes, if someone is being properly treated, you can live next door to them.”
Links
Facebook: @shatterproofHQ
Instagram: @WeAreShatterproof
Twitter: @gary_mendell, @ShatterproofHQ
Charity: Shatterproof.org