Rebecca Berger
Rebecca Berger survived a childhood of chaos and abuse before becoming pregnant at the age of 14. Many adults looked at her with pity and shame. Though the physical and emotional abuse from men continued in Rebecca’s life, she kept putting one foot in front of the other, chasing a childhood dream of becoming a doctor. She finished her education and as a mother of three, pursued a career in medicine. Rebecca, now a family medicine physician, shares her story of survival and why you should never let others define your potential.
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In this episode:
Growing up with a mother with mental illness in a sexually abusive home.
Navigating teen pregnancy.
Leaving an abusive relationship.
Rebuilding the confidence to follow her dreams and go to medical school.
Defining your own potential.
LINKS & RESOURCES:
Email: Dr.Rebecca.Berger@gmail.com
Charity: Peace Over Violence
Wise Words:
I don't think 14 year old Rebecca could ever conceive of the life that I have now. 14 year old Rebecca was in survival mode and didn't dare to dream this big
He would constantly call me at work and display threatening behavior towards me.
And those who sat around me knew about the situation somewhat. Or, you know, he would be waiting for me outside work, those types of things. So it was always while I was dipping my toe and a little bit of freedom, quote unquote going to work. I was still really confined and scared a lot of the time.
Just really scared for my own safety.
There were lots of red flags that I chose to ignore because I didn't have a good gauge on what I needed. Or what I should and shouldn't tolerate.
When my youngest was between the ages of one and two, I started to kind of flirt with the idea of going back to school. And I had a friend of mine at the time who would take some community college classes and she said, well, I'm going to sign up tomorrow for classes. Why don't you come with me?
And I had every excuse in the world, “Oh, I'm busy, I have the baby. I can't really do that.” And she offered to watch my baby while I signed up for classes. Come on, let's make this happen. So we did that and I never looked back.
So I was able to, at the end of the day, make sure that they were getting their homework done, doing my own homework. We would sit down, we would all do our homework together. I was there to cook dinner for them. So we definitely made it work and what really helped me during those time periods was to take it semester by semester and kind of build what my schedule was going to be.
You have to surround yourself with people that are supportive.
I've always been a very optimistic person and I think it was a trait that I developed because it was a self-survival type of technique that I developed. Because in the really dark moments, there had to be something better. There had to be something to look forward to.
And I'm still a very optimistic person sometimes to a fault. But it really has served me well in my life and I think it'll continue to serve me well.
I don't remember meeting any parents when I was still working on my bachelor's degree when I was at UCLA. So I was competing with brilliant students that really didn't have a whole lot of home obligations outside of just studying for school. And there were times of doubt that maybe this was a crazy dream.
Maybe I was mistaken, maybe this wasn't what my path was supposed to be. But I stayed the course, I studied for the MCAT, which is an entrance test for medical school. I did what I could do and I went into it with the mindset that I'm going to do my best to try to do this.
And if I fall short, then I will think of a plan B and try again.
Having followed my dream and succeeded and did what I knew in my heart was right, was just a surreal moment and one of the proudest moments of my life.
I always go into a patient encounter with an open mind and an open heart and never judgmental. You just never know what people are going through internally until you approach it in an open way and in a way that allows people to express what they're feeling.
One of the things that I experienced firsthand was that there was this automatic assumption that I was not intelligent because I had a baby at an early age. The other one is that I just didn't care about myself or my body, and that's why I ended up in the situation that I was in.
And all of these things are just not true. I think that there's always been this societal misconception that every teen parent is living on welfare and there is nothing wrong with getting financial assistance when you need it. But that is what their whole purpose is and they don't really have any potential left in them.
And I'm here to dispel those myths and misconceptions because they are just not true.
Never let others define what your potential is.