Simon Kent Fung
Simon Fung is the host and creator of the podcast, "Dear Alana." The show quickly became a hit, touching the hearts of millions with a universal story of coming of age amidst the struggle for self-acceptance. In this episode, Simon discusses his intense pursuit to alter his sexual orientation in order to follow his dream of becoming a catholic priest. He shares his candid revelations, from the depths of conversion therapy to overcoming shame and embracing his true self. His story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. If there's one thing to take away, it's that vulnerability can pave the way for profound personal growth and lead us to a more honest and compassionate existence.
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In this episode:
Navigating Sexual Identity and Conversion Therapy
The Healing Power of Group Therapy:
The Philosophical and Religious Underpinnings of Conversion Therapy
The Essence of Masculinity
Overcoming Trauma Through Martial Arts
Impact of Community and Religion on Personal Identity
LINKS & RESOURCES:
Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok: @dearalanapod
Charity: www.alanafaithchen.org
You can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting the word HOME to 741741.
Or you can contact the LGBT National Hotline for free, confidential support at 888-843-4564
You can find a list of these and more resources at AlanaFaithChen.org/help
As of the airing of this episode, 22 states have passed legislation to protect LGBTQ youth from conversion therapy practices. And more states have legislation pending. Organizations like The Trevor Project and Born Perfect are at the forefront of the fight to end conversion therapy.
Want to know where your state stands? You can find out by going to LGBTmap.org
Wise Words:
I ended up sharing with my mom and dad that I have this thing called same sex attraction. For a lot of conservative religious folks, the word same sex attraction is the preferred term to gay. That's because it's seen as this more clinical description of an attribute, rather than what a lot of conservative religious folks consider this political identity. So I chose to really identify more with this term, same sex attraction.
So I said I'm attracted to the same sex. But in the same breath, I said I am going to change this and there are ways to do this. Here's all these books and here's all this evidence for why and how I can do this.
I think this is really why conversion therapy still persists today because it really draws from a lot of real life experiences that people have. And it sort of strings them together into a narrative that, for a person who's desperate to change, sounds really convincing and plausible
There's a certain amount of measurement that's sort of implied in the ideas and theories behind conversion therapy. Teaching us what does it mean to be a man? And I think this is a really big topic, right?
I think it's an endless conversation to be had about what masculinity is. In what ways is it essential and in what ways is it constructed, right? Like there's all these really interesting conversations to be had about masculinity and this idea of the sexes.
It felt like I was trying to mold myself into a model of masculinity that in some ways just didn't feel natural.
I was re-listening to a lot of the theories of conversion therapy and a lot of the talks and messages that Alana and I received.
I was like, wow, this is kind of doing a number on me and I think a lot of it has to do with decoupling or untangling the degree to which something that I felt was saving me and helping me, in hindsight, was recognizing that it was harming me. That is hard to accept in myself.
What ended up happening is that people who don't share our experiences or who haven't gone through conversion therapy are resonating with the story, because it is in many ways, a coming-of-age story. It's a story about the lengths that we'll all go to to find belonging.
So much of the shame I carried around being gay had to do with a lot of stereotypes that I had been given about what gay people were like and what kinds of miserable lives they were leading. It wasn't until I started meeting more gay people, ironically, at a Catholic church near where I was living in San Francisco that I began to realize that they were wrong about that too.
These people are living beautiful full lives. This is not what I thought it was like. My life doesn't necessarily need to look like a death sentence.
I hope that people can begin to have a little bit of compassion for themselves, for the parts of them that they may not feel like they can accept, for the parts of them that they feel are shameful.